Day 38

It is hard. I have no idea how to say where we are. We are still eating mostly meats and veggies. However, mostly my weakness, we have been eating nuts. I am wanting something, but can't figure it out. In fact, I am barely eating. Nothing sounds good, except nuts. My digestion is paying for it also. I shouldn't be eating nuts.

Day 35, stage who the f cares?

So Thursday went okay. I can't remember what we ate, sorry. At potluck we had pinto beans, cornbread, no gluten, but a lot of eggs, rice with veggies and what I made, sweet potatoes with pecans and cranberries. This recipe could easily be adapted for gaps. With squash. It was good. I did have a headache pretty much as soon as we finished eating. Friday was, well. Yeah. We drove Joan to the bus station and did some shopping. We found an amazing health food store in F airfield. Oh my goodness how did we not know it was there? It is amazing. For so many different reasons. Anyway we went shopping and my weakness, Fairfield has 3!!! Indian Restaurants. We ate Indian. We did have some sunflower seeds too, we needed some snack and that what was available. So yeah. We tried some yogurt last night also. Which may not have been a good idea since we had cheated and how are we supposed to know if we were having issues from Indian or from yogurt? Silly of us, I know. Natalie did seem to have a stomach ache after the yogurt, but again it could have been from Indian. Anyway, I have been emotionally down and for no good reason. Yes, I know this can be part of die off. I have severe emotional issues, or should I say I have in my life and it probably needs to be worked out. It has been hard to be the one who is being the cheerleader of everyone lets me great on GAPs. WoohOOO!! Not really. Today was better, kinda. At least we stayed on the diet, mostly. We went to a burn workshop. We brought soup and fat delight. So we had food and it was good. Oh I also had coffee with coconut milk. Oh it was good. Very good and soothing. I needed it. Though after we got back from the class I got slightly violently ill. It wasn't pleasant and I feel slightly better now. Not sure what it was from. We are eating light tonight, broccoli with some ranch I made from our yogurt. I also made some smoothies with the rest of the yogurt and some blackberries. So yeah. Jack asked me today if I was really feeling better this time around. He hasn't. I have. My stomach aches are gone. I feel less crappy in general and up until a few days ago I could breath out of my nose. I am not sure if it is dairy that is doing it or if I am fighting something. I have been snotty though. The girls have been riled. They really have too much energy and have been hyper active. I am not sure about this. I really wish I knew what we needed to eat, what was best for us to eat. Sometimes I just don't know. I have come to realize in the past few days that in regards to pretty much everything in life, there is no one answer. Between diets, lifestyles, religions everything, there is no one answer. So where does that leave us? With no answers unless we keep figuring out what works and doesn't. Hmmm. I hope I get out of my dumps soon. They suck. I do remember going through this last time, and having a hard time being the one who had to keep us all happy on the diet.

Day 32, stage 1

I feel better this morning, but still achey. In fact, most of my right side hurts. I also need to stop occasionally eating a spoon of honey. I have a little and it doesn't even taste good. And it makes me feel like crap. So what is up with that? Willpower, that is what it is. I wish I had some. I also want cream. Okay, I want a few things. I am also feeling very emotionally down. It is a sucky way to be feeling. Not surprising though. I have always hated February. February hates me. I wonder if there will ever be a February where I feel happy? Hmmm? Will it happen? But for right now, I just feel crappy in most ways possible. Yea!! Crappy feelings tend to bring out the snarky sarcastic side of me. Lets hope that the kids wake up in a more not so hyper way today. No such luck. Kids crazy. Me crazy. it just wasn't a lot of fun today. The girls still had a lot of problems getting school done. I am not sure what to do. Last time we went through gaps we were taking school very slow, but we have sped up quite a bit the past year. I kinda want to take a break because it is stressing me out so much. But then I am worried about getting them off of a routine. They tend to do much better when we school everyday. We have been taking weekends off since Jack started working. I don't know. We all had some cashews today also. Probably didn't need that. Jack also went to the coffee shop, which we thought was a real coffee shop and I just wanted a coffee with cream, that isn't what I got because they only have coffee machines so it was all fake stuff with sugar. Ack!!! I am kinda upset over how much the conference seems to have messed us up. I have noticed that since the coffee my patience is GONE. Uggg. Okay, I am going to write what we had for dinner, pork and butternut squash. I was hoping it would help. It hasn't. Today is what I call closet days, or Mexico days. I just want to go away.

Day 31, stage 1

I think I need to preface this with, by stage one I mean 99% of our diet is soup. We are eating oils and ferments though also. We are not adding in avocados, eggs or anything else. I have to wonder at our experience and wonder if we go through all the stages and then go right back to stage one, if this would keep happening? If we would continue to have die off and such. Interesting notion. We are eating soup from the night before. I will be starting a roast, it will be made into soup though. I am also broiling up more of the "soup bones". Really these are not soup bones, they are mostly meat. Though it is all gelatin meat. So they do make great soup bones. Still we get a lot of meat out of them also. We started some yogurt last night to check it out. It won't be ready until tomorrow though. We used heavy cream and half and half. Again fat. Key word, fat. Gwendy was having some serious issues as soon as she woke up this morning. She gets like this sometimes, just tries to hit and be in the way make annoying noises. Being destructive and disruptive. Makes homeschooling hard. We have a decent amount to catch up on because no one could really focus yesterday. I caught Gwendy smiling at one point and made her laugh and so far she seems to be in a better mood. I kinda get the hard time with school yesterday. We see it a lot after conferences. I am more hopeful for today. Though I am not sure if I should be. Okay, maybe I am not more hopeful for today. Yeah, kids crazy today. Too much energy. I still feel like crap. Jack feels crappy. I was really excited about our yogurt, it seemed really solid. It was whey on the bottom. But that is okay. Maybe I will do some whey fermenting. I have never done that before, so it might be interesting. Jack is making himself some kind of yogurt drink. I did have a 1/2 cup of fat again, lightly sweetened. It is funny to see how we are all doing on stage one again. Part of me doesn't want to go off. I actually feel like vomiting. So after I wrote that I felt like vomiting, I went and took a hot shower and went to bed. I feel slightly better this morning. I didn't actually vomit. But damn I felt bad. I slept hard though. I usually wake up a few times a night. I didn't wake up until almost 5. Of course then I couldn't fall back asleep. I did ache almost all night. Wasn't fun. So again, another day not complete.

Day 30, stage 1

Trying stage one with lots more fat. I think we need more fat. Lots more fat. I think we did alright last time, but I don't know. I think maybe it will help trying to get more fat from the beginning. I took the stock that I started yesterday with beef bones and fat and connective stuff. I then put in the rest of the chicken, tomatoes, carrots and peas. Good soup and we ate it with olive oil on top. Good. We are still working on that soup. I have also let them have coconut oil. A decent amount. I also made up more butter and coconut oil and some honey and cocoa this time. Just munching on it. I find that eating that, I actually start to have more of an appetite and soup sounds good, even putting olive oil on my soup. My hunger has really increased and hasn't been cravings, it has just been oh I need this right now. So again, I feel that fat is going to make the biggest difference. We did all have a snack of sauerkraut. Everyone seems fine with it, though I feel a little tummy achey. Jack came home feeling really crappy. It is weird that we sailed through intro just 30 days ago. Yeah, we took it slower than we needed, but we really didn't have much issue. We are having the soup again for dinner. I added some ground beef. Maybe one of the biggest differences is that the girls are very happy with soup right now. Summary Me: Not bad. It feels like this is my first time through intro and I had been eating junk before. A little weird, hopefully it goes away soon. Jack: Tired, achey. nauseous. Headachey. Vit C helped the headache, low energy. Natalie: Good. Kind of. Tired. Kinda had cravings. No stomach aches or headaches. Layla: Good. Belly ache in the early morning. Soup was good. Not very hungry. A little bit sleepy. A slight headache after the first meal. Gwendy: Good, soup was GOOD! (she has had really good energy also)

Day 29, stage 1

Probably thought I had just given up, eh? Let me tell you, it was hard the past three days. I almost don't want to talk about it. We were bad. Though we did the best we could. We ate a good breakfast the day we left. Lunch was provided by Chiptole. It was good, mostly because there were huge salads. We all did eat a half burrito though, most of us took off the flour tortilla though. Dinner however was daunting. We were HUNGRY, and Jack couldn't stop talking. Okay, we had met some really great people. We really didn't feel that we could eat at the expensive restaurant, so we went to the food court. We figured we could at least stay gf if we went to the Mexican one. It was good, but of course we had beans, rice and sour cream. Very interesting, I could feel my body producing tons of mucous. Oh it was gross. So gross. The next day we ate breakfast at the union grill, they get most of their stuff organic, local and such. We ate mostly legal, though full gaps. Eggs, meat, veggies, fruits. It was a good buffet and we decided to do it the next day also. We also pre-ordered our lunch, again mostly legal. We only had an hour to eat. Dinner at the conference was good. There wasn't much in the way of meat, one meat had pasta in it and the other was tillapia. Everyone else besides me ate that. I really have issues with fish and it didn't help that it was in a cream of mushroom sauce. Ick. Our first real sugar though happened that night. Apple crisp. I couldn't resist it. It very possibly had gluten too. So we ate breakfast the next day at the union grill, buffet again and had lunch at the conference. Again, they were really good. They had salads at every meal, so we all filled our plates as much as we could with salad. The also had pork, which was good. We stayed away from the bread pudding. Dinner we on the road, so we stopped at Wendy's and got chili and fries, though Jack got a burger, he was driving and didn't want to mess with soup. I got us all frosty's too. I noticed a huge difference in how I was craving by just the little amounts of sugar that we had ended up with. The girls had eaten a lot of lara bars. It was just bad. They were so and whiny about it. I could so see their yeastie beasties coming out. Of course I could see mine too. All of us were having digestive issues and we were tired, Jack was feeling achey and fatigued. It just wasn't good. We decided that once we got back we would go back on stage one, at least until we were feeling better. Oddly, we are back now. It is 11:18 am and no one has eaten, okay Jack and I had a handful of nuts, I know, slapping our hands, not on stage one. But last night I pulled out meat and it is still cooking. Anyway, after three days of complaining about being hungry. The girls haven't said anything about being hungry and haven't eaten yet. They are quietly playing. Nicely, or at least mostly. We haven't done anything yet today. It is a total bum day I am guessing. Though I think we will have to go shopping since we have nothing but carrots. So yeah, interesting, isn't it? I am almost curious how far we would go before they mentioned being hungry. Well, around noon I finally asked them and they were kinda hungry. I had already started stuff. It was still awhile and no one really ate until 4. Okay, we did eat some summer sausage. I wanted it out of the way. It was given to us at the conference. I checked out our kombucha and some was ready and carbonated. Very yum. It seems pretty mild though. But I was kinda hoping that it would help. I am craving. It was a good soup though. Beef, carrots, peas tomatoes and pizza spices. We are doing pretty much stage one, but I am not as worried about going slow on the veggies and such. We have been munching on soup the whole night. The girls have insane energy. Jack and I have been bumming though. I am still craving. Kombucha usually helps, but it just isn't. I have been eating a decent amount of soup also. Still not helping. I'm starting to get antsy. I ended up making myself butter, coconut oil some honey, vanilla and cinnamon. It really helped. I didn't need much. I think just really needed some fat. Really needed fat. Probably about a tablespoon and my tummy is full in a way it hasn't been. Summary Me: Interesting day. Funny how almost a month a gaps and then having regular food messes you up. I was craving a lot today but fat came to my rescue. I read something interesting today about how fat should be more than half our calories. I think I am going to try and be more proactive about getting lots of fat. I can add animal fat to my soups but I think I need more fat. Coconut oil and butter need to play a big part, but I can't eat them without some flavor. Jack: Physical energy levels not high, all over body aches, headaches, short temper. Not hungry. Natalie: good. not very hungry. No headaches or anything. When I did eat food, it was good. Layla: good. Very high energy. Soup was delicious. No headaches, no belly aches. Gwendy: good. we ate a lot of bad stuff now we are on stage one.I'm happy that we are going to be on stage one because momma's soup is so good. I did not pay her to say that.

Day 25, stage 6

So I soaked cashews and pecans yesterday. Instead of eggs this morning, I ground up the cashews and added eggs and made the girls pancakes. Oh they looked good. It made a lot also. So we have some for our trip it looks like. I let them have one. I had to try a small bite and they didn't taste good to me. Too eggy. So I am assuming I should not do eggs yet. I did take some of the ground cashews and added some lime juice, coconut milk and small amount of honey. I was hungry this morning. I wanted something. I took a few small bites and not hungry. I will probably freeze it. Interesting, though isn't it? Yeah. I am going to see about making some more nuts for taking on our trip. We are going to probably intro fruits a little early. I thought we would be there by now. We got a bunch of lara bars. Today we aren't doing school, we are cleaning and packing. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Maybe I am bad. Okay I am. I also made up the pecans that I soaked yesterday. Put some butter, a little honey and cinnamon. We all ate some. I have issues with nuts. My issue is I can't stop. I hate that. But everyone has done well today. I made up pork steaks and chard for lunch. The girls have been cleaning well and so did I. So it feels weird to beat myself up over it. I guess it is more of a self control issue for me. I made kale chips and roasted a chicken. Oh, since we got the lara bars, we decided to test them and no one had a problem. Figured that it would be better to see that at home then while we were in the middle of a class. Oh. I am wiped. It is 9 and we need to get to bed so we can leave tomorrow. Summary everyone says that they are good. I don't feel like going through everyone. You will have to excuse me :)

day 24, stage 6

Today wasn't as bad as the other days. Breakfast was hamburgers and eggs. Everyone ate nicely. Girls were more focused today. I ended up with a handful of nuts this morning. Badly, they were not soaked. Lunch I made a kinda curry, beef, carrots, chard and brocoli. It was also good and ended up being dinner also. But for dinner we did add in some soaked cashews. It was really good. Soaked nuts taste so much better. They really do. I felt a little bit better today. It wasn't horrible. I have a feeling that it is going to be hard to blog while we are at the conference. And I have a feeling it is going to be a cheat three days. It is hard being at those things without cheating. They are also feeding us a meal each day. I don't know we will see. I hope that at least most of it isn't gluten. I think I have finally lost my taste for that nasty stuff. When we went to Ruby Tuesdays they gave us biscuits. I saw Jack try a bite and he said they were gross. Coated his mouth and felt so gross. So I put a tiny bite in my mouth and sure enough, GROSS. The last few times I have tried things, I even tried a belgium waffle and it was gross. This was like something I totally loved before. I have to wonder if there is anything that would taste good to me. Biscuits and gravy, glutenwise, not gf, gf still tasted good to me, but the gluten version, bad. Interesting, isn't it? I mean if it were good for me then it would probably still taste good, right? But it doesn't. Okay, maybe girl scout cookies. Sigh. Somoas.... Okay, maybe I am craving something indulegent. I think that is what it is. I want something creamy. I really want to start kefir. Sigh. Summary Me: not as bad, craving and I have a bit of a stuffy nose. I am not sure if this is because Oreo has been all over me today, the warm weather or something else. We will see. Jack: Good amount of food, no cravings, energy level good till afternoon then tired, picked up after eating dinner. Irritable. No problem with nuts so far. Natalie: Good. Tiny bit of problems with nuts. Stomach issues. Okay energy, not a whole lot. Worked for a long time int he garden. Layla: Okay energy, slight problem with unsoaked nuts. Gwendy: good. No problems.

Day 23, stage 5

Today has not been great either, can I have a good day again? Please? Breakfast, I made them sausage, spinach and eggs. I did a scramble hoping that it would be something a little different. I thought it would be nice. Gwendy didn't go for it. In fact she didn't finish her food until right before we ate lunch. Everyone was getting on everyone elses nerves. Being mean to each other and just not fun. School hasn't been going that great. Natalie got very upset with herself after starting to do something without making sure that was what she was supposed to do. Little things that they just keep doing. It has been a really hard day. It was helped at all by having everything here a mess since we really haven't cleaned or done anything since Wednesday. sigh. Lunch was good. I made roast. I went out and picked some mustard greens from the green house. I made mustard chips. Kind of like kale chips. I wasn't as happy with them. I was also trying to make the roast so they burned a little. Still good. I will try again later. So we had roast, mustard chips and sauerkraut. Oh my goodness, the sauerkraut was good. So good. It is like perfect. It was really good with the roast too. I think that maybe they are happier now. Layla still has a lot of work to do. It is after 3:00. Usually we are doing better than this. We are not doing good. It is frustrating. I'm still sore from Saturday too. Mostly my forearms. Well, not a half hour after eating I ended up in severe pain. I think I overdid it on the sauerkraut. I still hurt. I feel weak and crappy. It was so good though. So crazy what this diet can do. You think you are alright. I have been drinking lots of kombucha, but it doesn't matter each ferment is different. Whooo. I took some vit C. If that doesn't help I might take some magnesium. That is the problem with not having a bath tub. No detox baths. Those really did help last time. Damn, I feel like crap. Took the rest of the roast and put it in pork stock with carrots, beets and mustard greens. The stock had a lot of fat on top. I am not hungry, though I am feeling better. I am drinking some buchy and some water. It isn't that I am not hungry. I just feel like done. The girls have been all over today. Can tomorrow be better please? Please? Not sure why everything is nuts today. I am hoping however for happy kids for the conference. That would be nice Summary Me: sauerkraut kicked my ass today. Not hungry still. Upset, snippy, pissy. Can I call myself anymore negative things? Jack: Lots of cravings, not terribly hungry. Energy level fine. Productive day. Natalie: Good. I think I had a tiny bit of stomach ache today. I really like broth and I really want cashews. I kinda want raisins. Layla: Good. craving broth, broth tastes so good. My tummy hurt, maybe because of spinach. Not having any cravings. Soup I'm fine with now, as long we don't have it every meal every day. Gwendy: good. I'm about to feed on the broth. Because it is so good. Yum. I find it funny that they have all said that they are doing good. They sure don't act like it. Or maybe it is just me. I think Jack needs more fat, I think that is why he has been craving things. I am also starting to wonder if pork is causing the stomach aches.

Day 22, stage 5

Okay, going to try and get this done today. We had the rest of the pork this morning. As barbque style. It was good. I did end up adding a little bit of honey in it. No one had eggs this morning. Even though the auction stuff is mostly done, we still have to organize some piles of wood and such, our life hasn't slowed yet. Gwendy peed in our bed the night before and we needed to do laundry. We also needed to wash the comforter that Kali spent her last days on, she peed a lot on it. We also needed chick and dog food. So off to Kirksville we went. Because we also needed to get back in time since Joan needed to borrow the car, we didn't have time to prepare food to go. Everyone was going well though. Until this small moment when I looked at my children and saw that it was going to go downhill really quick if they didn't get food soon. Jack was also craving milkshakes and cheese fries. I told him he needed more fat in his diet. Good fat. The girls asked if we could go to Ruby Tuesday's. We have like never really been there. So we went and they actually have some decently good choices for us. First they have a salad bar. And they have this awesome option where you can get three sides and the salad bar. So Jack and I got that. I got some steamed broccoli, steamed snap peas and roasted spaghetti squash. Jack got mashed cauliflower, I am pretty sure this had cream and or butter in it, green beans and broccoli. The girls all got the salad bar but Layla and Natalie split some tillapia with snap peas and broccoli. I think the waitress was insanely impressed at my daughters abilities to eat veggies. She was so amazed to see them all eating such wonderful food. Everyone stuffed themselves full. It was great. Moods seem pretty good today also. We roasted a chicken and steamed/boiled some broccoli and carrots with some tomatoes and itailian herbs. It was rather tasty. However, I am not so hungry. Probably good since Jack needs to bring something to work with him tomorrow. You know, it is interesting that moods seem much more even now. They still obviously have moods, but it isn't so extreme. Except for Gwendy. Most of that is hunger and I think her ability to recognize it early enough. By the time she realizes it she is so hungry that she doesn't know what to do. I think it will get better. If not in time then when she grows up a little bit more. All in all, a fine day. We have been doing really bad on ferments the past two days and on coconut oil the past well 4 days? And we are out of fclo. Really need to order more. It is really easy to start to get off track. So, hopefully I can get back on track. I have a feeling that the conference is not going to help.

Day 21, stage 5

So Jack stayed the night at DR. The girls ended up in my bed. We all slept well though. Gwendy however peed in my bed. That should have given me a thought as to how my morning was going to go. I started making a lot of hamburgers, beef and pork. We have food to bring with us today. The girls were eating well until Gwendy got upset that Layla had more mustard than she did. That is where we are now. Gwendy is freaking out on her bed. Really freaking out. She just came back to the table and is trying to eat. But the damage is already done to me at least. I am done for the day. But we have to go back to the auction, meeting Jack and DR people there, to pick up more stuff. I still can't eat. I just don't feel up to it. But life must go on. We have things we need to do today. It just totally sucks. Again posting on the day after. You know, life is decently slow here. It really is. But when life goes fast, it goes fast. I left shortly after writing that. We did have enough food with the hamburgers for the girls. However, I did not eat again. Even though we were gone from 10:30 and didn't get back until after 8. We ended up eating at Main Street AGAIN! Uggg! This weekend has kinda sucked. I feel like we haven't had a chance to breath. We ate well though. Though we did end up with sweet potato fries and regular ones. We just split them across the table. So no one got that many. No one seemed to have any issues. Jack was given a 6 pack of beer from someone. He drank 3 and gave away the rest. We did a lot of physical work though. It was hard, really hard. But I have to say that I had much more energy than I would have had before gaps. I didn't feel like I was going though jello. I don't know. I need to get caught up and write todays blog post.

Day 20, stage 5?

So it is a day late. Yesterday was fun. We went back to the auction. We thought we would only be there again until lunch. Not so. I didn't get anything to eat for breakfast because Jack went to work and I was in charge of getting everyone ready and out the door. Gwendy left the rest of her breakfast at home. We thought she brought it with her, but she didn't. So at lunch when we thought we were going to leave, and then we weren't, well the girls were hungry. In fact Gwendy was hungry, not surprisingly, at like 10. All in all yesterday the girls ate I think five hamburger patties from the food cart thingie. By the way, they look really weird at you when you ask for a hamburger without the bun. So 4:00 came and the auction was done, but we still needed to load. The people from DR have a really nice trailer. The issue was that the people who could drive it needed to get back in a half hour. So after a lot of thinking I ended up driving them back and Jack stayed and loaded up the trailer, he can drive the DR truck. So then it starts snowing on the way home. Bad. By the time I got to DR we had a good bit of snow. The girls were hungry, Gwendy was sleeping. After calling Jack I found that they hadn't even started to load the truck. We were going to stay at DR and wait for Jack. But decided that with no food, and not knowing when Jack would actually make it there that we would just go home. So we did. It took me twice as long as the roads were crappy. I hate driving in the snow. It also didn't help that Jack had loaded the truck in such a way that I was worried to turn fast. We did make it home in one piece though. The girls, even though they were hungry were really great yesterday. Well, Gwendy had moments. Quite a few, but to be expected. It was a long day with tons of people and mommy and daddy telling her not now, they were trying to bid. Jack ended up staying the night at DR, rather than try and brave the roads again. Ziggy and April I guess made him dinner. I have no idea what they had, but I am pretty sure it wasn't quite legal. We had kalua pork again when we got home. Yesterday was very meat heavy. I was so worried though about Jack driving I could not eat. After I heard that he got safely to DR, I made myself some hot water with brandy and honey. It helped a lot. I had a massive headache and could not get warm. I was really stressed. The brandy helped though. I did have a few bites of food, but really could not eat. It was a day. Not really a fun one, but we survived.

Day 19, stage 5?

So we went to an auction today. Yep. I was prepared for breakfast. I made so much food. Everyone had a heaping bowl of sausage, avocado and eggs. Well, except for me. I really have not been into eating until lunch. I know you are supposed to eat and get good protein in the morning, but it just hasn't been for me. So we went. I brought some tea, outdoor auction and a jar of kombucha. While trying to bid Gwendy kept bugging me, she was thirsty. I ended up giving her the buchy and begged her to not drink all of it. She did. I was a little upset about that. Oh well. Anyway, Jack needed to go back to work and I did not pull out any other meat. Yep. So there was nothing at home. Be prepared, that is like what everyone says on gaps, and they mean it. Be prepared. I wasn't. We were going to do raw veggies tomorrow, but figured no one is having issues so we did them today. We went to Main Street and had plain salads with chicken breast and oil and vinegar dressing. It was good but not as good as I remember it being last time we were on intro. Gwendy got upset about halfway through the meal. She wanted stock in her salad. That made me really happy. However, the girls have all been acting weird. I am not sure if we should be eating raw veggies now. I'm really not sure. I don't think anyone has had any digestive issues but acting weird. I don't know, we will see. I don't plan on it being an everyday thing for awhile. Really the only thing we have had every day since starting this has been eggs. I still am not having eggs. I am not sure when I want to start them. Really not sure. Oh and I drank some of Jack's coffee today at Main Street, they have good coffee. I usually want tons of cream and sugar in my coffee. I tried it and it was good!!! I have never liked black coffee. It was good!!! We got some, decaf for me, so that might help some of my coffee craving. I might get some coconut milk and see if I can do that. I'm making kalua pork for tonight, pork shoulder alea sea salt and cabbage. Very plain. Obviously we won't be having it with two scoop rice. We will live. It still tastes amazing. So Jack feels bad. He says that it is very similar to how some of the people at work started to feel right before they got really sick. Problems with working in a hospital, lots of sick people in there. BUT the girls are all complaining that their heads hurt. So maybe it is sickness, maybe we shouldn't be eating raw veggies. Kalua pork was a win. The girls miss the rice. I didn't. Sometimes it is really hard to eat pretty much just meat. Oh well. Summary Me: No real problem. Today was decent. My stomach has hurt a little bit, did I mention I had some honey again? This is an issue for me. I need help. I haven't been sleeping really well. Joan's dog has been waking up needing to go out in the middle of the night. As a mommy, I tend to wake up when doors open. I have been having a slightly easier time falling back asleep, well as long as it isn't after 330, then I am up for the rest of the day. I just can't seem to fall back asleep. It kinda sucks. I won't call it insomnia since I am not just waking up, something is waking me up, but oh well, right? One day I will sleep. I just thought that after my kids weren't waking me up constantly then I would start sleeping. Jack: breakfast started well. Lunch was fantastic, massive headache in afternoon, really didn't cheat at dinner(he had a meeting and they served meatloaf that was meat and eggs and green beans) energy level fine until headache, now slight nauseous and fatigued. Natalie: okay. really hungry. Pork doesn't taste good anymore. It has this taste that isn't very good. Headache Layla: sleepy. raw vegetables so good... headache Gwendy: good. slight tummy ache. headache

Day 18, stage 4

Again, I am still at stage 3. We had hamburgers and eggs. We need to go shopping. Out of eggs and avocados. I didn't eat. My stomach is still fermenting, or at least that is what it feels like. I am also very emotional right now. Life sucks, in case you didn't know. It doesn't really have anything to do with the diet, it is all just life. I am roasting a chicken now and hoping I can get around my emotions and fermenting stomach and eat lunch. Well, I ate. We actually ate/drank a half gallon of stock today. Just plain chicken with carrots and broccoli. It wasn't great, so I made up for it by making again the most awesome dinner ever. I cut up some butternut squashes and coated them in olive oil and roasted them until they were all nice and brown, seriously marshmallow yumminess. And then I made pizza burgers. Hamburgers with pizza seasonings and tomato sauce. Yummy stuff. Gaps can be very tasty. The girls are licking the cast iron skillet clean. I don't know. I won't say that today was great. I felt overwhelmed, but I think that is more circumstances than diet. I did feel better after drinking some buchy. Jack cleaned the kitchen, though there is still a sink full of dishes. I fermented 2 pounds of carrots. I think I may start two more gallons of kombucha tomorrow. I have to get some going. We can go through a lot of ferments. I am really looking forward to kefir. I think I just want dairy though. It can be tough. Summary: Me: alright, not great though. My stomach was fine after awhile. Jack: skipped lunch, bad idea. short tempered hungry poor focus. Natalie: good. pizza burger so good!! with squash marshmellows. Craving broth(yea!!!) Layla: good, high energy, very high energy. no headaches, no tummy aches. liking broth(yea!!!) I was actually craving it. Gwendy: good. no tummy aches. The stuff was good

Day 17, stage 4

Made a mistake. Jack really needs to get the bucket of honey out of here. I had a spoon of it this morning. My tummy isn't happy. I am bloated and feel like I just ate pizza, not a spoon of honey. I think I have learned my lesson though. Pretty sure I was right on when I said no honey until much later. Though I did have some, a small amount in something and had no problem. Still, honey, not good. Other than that the girls had eggs, beef sausage, and avocado for breakfast. They all woke up a little better today, they actually went to sleep last night though also. I made more kombucha. It is really weird, our buchy is very strong yet it still tastes kinda sweet. It has been going two weeks or more right now. So that is weird. So I made the most awesome lunch. Beef and broccoli with thai seasoning and stock. I tried cauliflower again. I made rice. It was very yummy. Tonight we are having the same, by request of the girls but with roasted cauliflower. My stomach is still a little weird with the honey. But cauliflower doesn't seem to be an issue. Which is good. I really need to stay away from honey. Summary Me: Honey ferments in my belly. I need to stay away from it. Why it does so, I don't know. I hope that eventually I can have some sweet snacks. Hopefully, one day. Jack: Craved chocolate today. Was somewhat hungry, lunch gave me heart burn. Energy level and mood was fine Natalie: Good, curry was good. High energy, woke up good today. A tiny bit of stomach ache. After she ate sausage. Peppermint tea helped immediately. I think instead of being just slightly awake I am going to try to go right to bed tonight. I think that is why I woke up easier. Layla: Energy okay. The buchy burned my stomach. Gwendy: Good. I love eggs. and I love it but one sausage was too tasty, too yummy. And the cauliflower you made was good and it made my tummy want more.

Day 16, stage 4

Can someone tell the internet gods that I need internet? The girls had two eggs, sausage, made with ground pork and seasonings, and avocado this morning. I had a little bit of sausage. They all did great. I made chili for the rest of the day, beef, green pepper and carrots. I did use tomato sauce for the first time today. Jack did have some issues the first time he ate it. But not the second. He thinks it may have been because he hadn't eaten since breakfast, this was when he came home from work. I did have a spoonful of honey, it was good. Our days are seeming more normal. It is weird, I am not sure if this happened last time. I know for a fact that by this time we were already eating pancakes and eating honey every day. So, yeah. I think we are doing better this time in more ways than just a couple. I still want to update this daily. I think it is important, but I don't think these posts are going to be very long. Summary Me: I had slightly low patience this morning, mostly because of dishes not being done, meat bleeding on the stove, Jack's papers on the table. A lot of stuff had to happen before we could school and it was an issue. I felt like I handled it well. I don't know, decent day Jack: busy, cake craving as a result of people having cake at work. Energy fine, hunger not so much. Natalie: good, tired in the morning, didn't sleep last night when I told you to. Layla: good. no tummy aches, no head aches. Little sleepy, after awhile, not so sleepy, good energy. Gwendy: good. no headaches. I ate all my eggs, (she didn't used to like eggs) See? even on our summaries, we are boring. Not much is happening on the diet. Life is pretty damn normal.

Day 15, stage 4

Except for me, still on stage 3. The girls are eating eggs, spinach and avocado for breakfast. We have no meat defrosted. I wish we had some more protein, but I think the novelty of this will help a little. The spinach was cooked in stock. The girls used to not like cooked spinach, I have to admit to totally loving cooked spinach, but they like it now. I am again not hungry, still cramping and feeling ehh. I had dreams last night about drinking coffee. So you know I am not a coffee drinker, if I drink, it is decaf one, organic preferably two. There also isn't much coffee in my coffee. Really what I want when I want coffee is warm cream and sugar that is tinged to a light brown and warmed slightly. And so I had dreams of heavy cream and sugar. Really, in my dream I was like, I can't have sugar, what about stevia, could I do that? I know it is illegal, but, better than sugar surely. I want warm cream and sugar. I want to drink something smooth and reassuring. The girls are so still going to be hungry after this. Jack made lunch, round steak and broccoli and carrots. The girls helped a lot. And ate a lot. We had the same for dinner. It was really good. Jack had thought that he made enough for lunch, dinner, his breakfast and lunch for tomorrow. Not so. It is gone. I have to say that I have slight mixed feelings. Part of me is so happy to see Gwendy eat 4 bowls of soup. Part of me is also going, damn I thought I made enough for the next meal. It is kinda crazy. But we are all doing well. We had a hard moment at our meeting today. There were fritos on the table. Mmmmm, I love fritos. Seriously, I know they are junk, but yummy stuff. No one had any issues with eggs. Yea!!! And it is a good day again. Not much happening. I have to admit to still craving. That is hard for me. Hard maybe because NCM says somewhere that if you are craving something have it and see if it is something that your body needs. Last time and this time my craving has been nuts. Nuts, nuts. I want nuts. But if I have them, then everyone else will want them and I don't want to open that up yet. Aggg!

Day 14, stage 3

Again, wasn't able to post during the day. We went to Red Earth today and had to get there early. So I woke up early and make a roast. So we all went to the car with bowls of soup. I didn't eat though. I wasn't hungry and I have been trying to listen to that. I did drink some buchy and water in the morning. I felt pretty good. Well, still crampy and icky, but still good for being on my period. We did what we needed to do, including going to the meat market and getting meat. We also needed more magnesium and vit c. No one has had any problems with constipation, which is really common in intro, but I figured it is good to be prepared. Vit C I have heard is good if you are going through die off. So yeah. We got home and I made hamburgers and soup. We ate and not a half hour later I was feeling BAD, so weird. I ended up taking some vit C, I figured I would see if it would help. About an hour after that instead of feeling BAD I felt almost wired. I still do. It is really weird. So I am going to have to watch that. We had pork steaks and spinach soup tonight. I actually ate two meals today. I am feeling more hunger. It is a good thing. Just not so much in the morning. My energy is pretty insane right now. The girls have had a couple of moments, but have been really good too. In fact, I think I have to mention that Natalie has been the biggest help in the world. She has started to do a lot of dishes during the day. It is so nice for them to all start doing some work around the house. So nice. I know this isn't very informative, but it was a pretty easy day. What is odd, even though we have added in avocados, we aren't eating that many. We are mostly still just eating soup. Soup, soup. It is a good thing. Hopefully, we get better quicker. It doesn't even seem that overwhelming to me anymore. Summary Me: good, very high energy after vit c. Did have a small little bit of badness before that though. Patience and pretty much everything was better than yesterday. Jack: Moderate energy. Appetite eh, pretty average day. Natalie: It was fine. Don't think I had any problems with um pork. Yeah, doing good. Layla: little bit low energy, Not many cravings. Still a little, when I see it, but not bad at the moment. My tummy hurts a tiny whiny bit. For the most part happy. Gwendy: GOOD. Some foods were good and mama finished one of my mittens.

Day 13, stage 3

So we didn't have internet most of the day. So, this is going to be jumbled. Last night I told Jack that we were almost out of propane. But he thought we would make it until he could get more at lunch. Well, I started a chicken and it didn't make it. The worst part was that when I asked Layla for my phone, she told me it was in the car. So we all got more dressed walked to see Joan at work and called Jack. Then walked home. The girls were not happy and were hungry and I was about done. It wasn't even 10. Jack did make it home and we finished cooking the chicken. It was a good lunch. Then because we didn't have internet and what we were doing for school slightly depended on it, it messed up our whole school day. Gwendy was upset about half way through the day. It was just really a bad day for me. I cheated. It was about the fifth time for the day that I about started to bawl and Natalie looked at me and said, mom, have something, cheat. So I took a half stick of butter, a little honey, a little cocoa and some almonds. It was good. I let the girls have a small bite. It didn't really help me. You do realize eventually on this diet that junk does not make you feel better. It just doesn't. I won't say it wasn't worth it. Oddly, maybe because it wasn't really junk, I didn't feel bad either. It was technically legal, just not for the stage I am in. I have noticed something else though. We are on stage three. But mostly we are eating soup or casserole with stock every meal still. We are eating more ferments. We have the occasional avocado. But that is it. While the girls were really wanting spices and flavor not that long ago I am finding that they are very happy to get flavorful veggies and meat. They don't even salt and pepper their food. Our taste buds are changing and adapting to this diet. It is a good thing. I just wish that I was happier and less irritable today. I didn't even want my moontime tea because it is spicy strong and without something to sweeten it I was afraid it would be too much. Yes, I cheated but I wasn't going to cheat again. If tomorrow is still this bad I might do something though. It was a lot today. Our chicken did last all day though. After eating it in parts, by the way I smothered it in lamb tallow, I put the rest in soup that lasted the rest of the day. We are starting to get maybe not as ravenous. I will take that as a good sign. I am also taking it as a good sign that we are still doing well on eating mostly meat and veggies. I want to keep this up. Not end up with lots of baked goods and crap that we shouldn't be eating, even if it is "legal". My goal this time for our gaps journey. I might add to this tomorrow, but that is it for now because I don't feel like dealing with anything more.

Day 12, stage 3

So we, Jack and I are not hungry. He did eat this morning though. I am not sure if I will. I do feel insanely better. My body feels lighter, I still do not feel like I have quite the strength as before getting sick, my head doens't hurt as much and my nose is doing better. My throat doesn't hurt as much either. But I am not hungry. It is frustrating as it is hard to cook when you are not hungry. I let the girls sleep in a little. And they woke up hungry. I am trying to follow my bodies signals and if I am not hungry for a little while, I am not going to eat. I am still trying to get some probiotics and drinking lots of water. If after a few days I am still not hungry I may try something else, like making myself eat. I can't seem to decide if this is my body wanting a break and detoxing or if I am vitamin deficient in something and need something to help that. I have to say that it is kinda nice to see the girls looking healthy, glowing almost. Lunch went well. I was actually hungry by that point so I did eat some. We made sweet potatoes for potluck. At pot luck we had squash with butter and garlic, lentils that had bacon and bbq sauce in them, fritta with potatoes and cheese(I didn't eat this, too worried about eggs). The girls, except Gwendy, all had upset stomachs while eating. Mine is upset now. Jack is fine so far. I have weird body aches. And am cramping. I find though now I am craving stuff. I am having a glass of wine to help with my cramps and I really want something sweet. My patience is super low right now. Maybe it has been all day. We didn't do school, so it was a very low stress day. I'm worried about tomorrow, our propane tank is really low. I feel really worked up and grrr. The crazy thing is the girls ate SO MUCH at potluck, so much. And they are eating again. Why, why why? This is what makes me want to break. I want some crappy food. Gwendy is fussy, really fussy. She wants hamburgers and nothing else. Hopefully potluck issues won't last long. I didn't get to finish this last night. So oh well. It was a day

Day 11, stage 3

So this morning bad. I am just not up for some stuff. It is just really hard sometimes to get school going, food going, wash the dishes, get kids dressed, get them to stop fighting about where they are going to sit, all of it. Too much. Today we ended up moving the table. I was so tired of the fighting about where people were going to sit. So tired of it. I realized how weak and crappy I felt. There have been some really good moments, really good, but I think it is mostly where I am right now and my inability to handle things that is making it so hard for me. I still feel like crap. In some ways better, my nose is not running quite as much. My head hurts more and I have some body aches. Moving the table slightly exhausted me. Yesterday I said I would post my stages for intro. These are just how I figured it would work best for us. Mostly going off of what we saw last time. Stage 1 soup, biokult, ferment juice, fclo Stage 2 soup, biokult, ferments, fclo, coconut oil, we did some milk but it didn't last long, casseroles Stage 3 soup, no more biokult, ferments, fclo, coconut oil, casseroles, avocado, cooked not necessarily boiled meat, still soft though Stage 4 soup, ferments, fclo, coconut oil, casseroles, avocado, cooked not necessarily boiled meat, eggs Stage 5 soup, ferments, fclo, coconut oil, casseroles, avocado, cooked not necessarily boiled meat, eggs, raw veggies Stage 6 soup, ferments, fclo, coconut oil, casseroles, avocado, cooked not necessarily boiled meat, eggs, raw veggies, nuts Stage 7 soup, ferments, fclo, coconut oil, casseroles, avocado, cooked not necessarily boiled meat, eggs, raw veggies, nuts, cooked fruit We might add in some honey at stage 7 also. So really in some ways we are moving really slow. No one had any issues with raw veggies last time, or avocados. I did have issues with eggs. I will probably not add on eggs until stage 6 or 7. We are kinda hoping that we can be at stage 7 by the time we go to our next conference. It is going to be kinda tough and we may do a little bit of intro again when we get back. Can I say how good it makes me feel to hear Gwendy ask for more soup? Very happy. Everyone is gassy though. I am trying to figure out why. Is it just our probiotics? I am not sure. But we will be going on ferments after today and I think our system handles it better. I'm not as worried about being gassy after ferments. It is sometimes hard to remember to add it in. But just like the coconut oil I need to get good about remembering it. I did start my period. I remember my first couple of periods on gaps last time, they were not fun. It actually does not surprise me that I am having die off right before my period. It is a time of cleansing, it happens. I think it is always harder during this time. So yeah. So far not so bad. I am hoping for not too horrible cramps. The girls are doing better. Gwendy actually ate 3 bowls of soup. Their energy seems better, but they are still slightly picky at each other. Lunch was great. The girls can really tear into some meat and veggies. If this diet didn't have so much to do with stock, they would rock it. I am sitting down to a small glass of kombucha. It is such a wonderful drink. I think I am going to work up to drinking a glass with every meal. Of course right now I am drinking it after my meal. I think we need to start more buchy. I'm feeling slightly better, not as sick. But still odd aches and pains at random places and the feeling that I would rather go lay down than do anything. Jack got home and he is having issues with stomach aches after every meal. He thinks it is beef but I am wondering if he needs digestive enzymes. Hopefully he can remember. The girls ate a ton of food at dinner. Jack and I did not eat. We just do not seem very hungry. I think a lot of mine is being sick. Things seem more normal tonight. Who knows, maybe one day soon I can have a non-screaming fit day. It would be nice. Meant to mention. I noticed this a few days ago. The girls lips are much redder. Summary Me: better. Not great. Frustrated. Annoyed. At least physically I am feeling better. Jack: lethargic, stomach ache after two of three meals. Natalie: Good. No problems with anything, horseradish was good. Good. Layla: Good. No headaches, no tummy aches, Everything sounded very good. All the food was delicious. Gwendy: good. didn't feel bad, no belly ache, no headache, not sick and not feeling bad. (gwendy has been very hungry at night and cranky in the mornings. We actually have some food so I am letting her eat to her hearts content, or ata least going to try. She is on her 5th hamburger, maybe 6th. She has been eating a lot.)

Day 10, stage 3

I'm sick. Since I'm sick, my stomach is upset. I do really think it is more die off though. I could be wrong, but it just is not how I usually get sick. Pretty miserable though. Today we are going to try avocado. Yea!!! It will be good I think to have more fat in our diets. I have used all of our coconut milk, sadly. There isn't any place local to buy it either. I am seeing how hard it is to do GAPs somewhere rural. You just can't go to the store and buy coconut flour, or good honey, or much really. We don't even have organic veggies. It about kills me. Breakfast went well. I feel like crap and my energy is super low and I am snappy. Oddly, the girls are doing better. We might finish school in record time today. Then I will go and lay down. I just feel mega crappy. I tortured myself by going and looking at recipes that we can't have for a long time. I would be happy to have some gaps treats right now. But I also know that this probably being the "die off flu" that it would just make me more miserable. I just feel bad because right now the girls aren't being bad at all and I just don't have the patience today. I'm hungry and don't feel like cooking. I mean before it was a lot of work because my day was spent doing dishes, homeschooling and cooking, but now? It is so much more. I know part of it is feeling sick too, but I feel done. I should be making us more food. I should especially since all I can think of is that Joan has reeses in the cupboard. Just finding it hard to have the motivation to do it. I was so hopeful today that Jack was coming home early. Instead he came home at lunch for a little bit and went back to work. I want snack food, nothing that I have to work so hard for. Something easy and tasty. It isn't even so much that I want junk, I would be happy with a handful of nuts. Mostly I don't want to prepare what I am going to eat. So there. I'm going to stop writing for now so I don't end up anymore negative. I survived. I feel a little bit better emotionally than I did earlier. Not so much physically. We went shopping and we got some cabbages and Jack and the girls made sauerkraut. It is a good thing. We will have our last of the biokult tomorrow and have to get on having probiotics. Gwendy is eating like a mad woman. It is good. Actually all the girls are eating tons. I'm so happy about that. They all have tons of energy. Jack and I are not as hungry and don't have as much energy. We are doing alright now. I will say not as hungry means we are eating 3 to 4 meals a day and having about one good serving at each meal. The girls however are eating 2-3 servings each meal. It is really nice to see them eating so much. They, while having some issues sometimes, are actually having more time each day where they are nice. Where they are the children I remember. Not that they were horrible or anything, they so aren't. But they are having more and more time where I can tell that they are more in control of their emotions. Which makes a big difference. I don't expect them to not be upset with each other. I don't expect them to always play nice. But to calmly work out something instead of just thinking about themselves. Gwendy is having more problems with this than any of them, which doesn't surprise me. Natalie is also regressing a little in her mouth thing, but I expected that also. We did have some avocado at dinner tonight. Along with ground beef and liver with peas and carrots. The girls drank their broth so it was a more meal than soup. Yes, I know, we need to drink our broth also. I just wasn't even hungry. I have been drinking so much that I think I have very little room for more things in my belly. The girls and I had coconut oil twice today, 1/2t each time. I know this could be contributing to my die off, but I want to keep it up unless I end up with die off for the next week. But yeah, 10 days in, it is a much different experience than last time. I feel much better about my intro stages. I will type them out tomorrow, it is almost 8 and we need to get ready for bed. Summary Me: bad bad day. But I can stay positive enough to think that even a bad day can mean good things. I feel that hopefully once this passes I will feel better than I did before. Jack: very busy day. Not hungry. Low patience. Evening stomach ache after lunch. Natalie: good. I didn't have a problem with avocados. High energy. A little bit sleepy. Layla: Avocado is delicious. Hungry. Getting enough food. Slight tummy ache, when I started eating.No headaches. Gwendy: No tummy ache. My foot was sleepy. (she has been VERY HUNGRY) Tired.

Day 9, stage 2

Goddess help me I am going to lose it. It is only 11:20 and already I want to go hide in a closet. It is like my children lost all that focus that they had last week and it is driving me batty. So batty. They all of a sudden do not know which letter make what sounds. Natalie lost the ability to draw. Last night with Gwendy was horrible, it was an hour and half of talking with her, rubbing her back and trying to calm her. And then noise got her all worked up again. I knew she was tired, she was so tired and it was hell. Absolute hell. This morning didn't start out any better. She was very fussy though she did eat all of her soup. I ended up blending it for her. So yeah. Natalie and Layla got 5. Layla had a small tummy ache that went away. Gwendy had 4. I had 6 Jack had 4 I think. Yeah, I feel off also. I am defrosting some ground beef and some turkey liver. I haven't decided if we are going to have hamburger type things or meatballs. But everyone has been wanting beef, not chicken. I have a chicken in the oven. Why does chicken or even turkey not sound good? Why do we want red meat? Hmmm.... This could very well be the die off we knew was coming. Really the first week was pretty easy, besides craving food and everything. Okay, maybe I am looking back with rose colored glasses. So lunch was great. I put some broccoli and carrots in stock. And then gave them the meat on top. Everyone gobbled it up. They were really great about drinking their stock if everything else was bigger pieces. Kids still aren't focusing well and school is not going great. But we are surviving. I am hopeful that it gets better quick. Really craving dairy right now. Pretty sure that is because of pms. Dairy is weakness. I don't even want butter, I want smooth creamy dairy. I need to keep reminding myself that doing intro and doing it slow is good so that we heal quicker. Jack came home with a horribly bloated stomach. I know how much that hurts because it has happened to me so many times. He made himself some peppermint tea and felt better after awhile. I really am getting something too. I actually have a fever. While my nose is running, I think it has more to do with the diet than getting a cold. I don't get fevers when I am sick. Dinner was great. We had carrots and broccoli in stock and then I made up some hamburgers with liver. It was all tasty. The girls ate so much. We talked about if they drank broth with their meals we wouldn't have to eat soup all the time. They are more than happy to drink broth now!!! It was the sweetest thing to me too see them all tipping their bowls up and drinking broth. Oh so happy. I thought I had made enough for Jack's breakfast and enough for him to take to work, but I didn't. Sucks. So now have to make food in the morning also. It will be okay. Summary Me: Coming down with something, feverish and feel down right crappy. Did not have much patience today well all in all, bad day for me. Jack: Not very hungry today, very strong stomach pains. Moderately low energy, don't feel like doing anything. Dinner was delicious, very satisfying. Natalie: Happy, had no problems with nothing. Layla: High energy, loving the soup. Happy that if I drink broth in a cup I won't have to have soup as much. Had slight tummy ache, still, just slight though. Gwendy: Good. I ate all of my food when I woke, I ate all my food at lunch. And I just had a bite to see if I liked it, and I liked it. (she ate amazing today) I feel very well after eating all that food. Natalie just had a slight melt down because she folded up clothes for an hour today and Layla couldn't find her shirt. So the drawers got messed up. She is very upset but is calming down now. Today has been a day.

Day 8, stage 2

Cooking a casserole! Everyone has woken up slightly better today. A little still bit grumpy, but decent. I have to admit that I woke up with the feeling like I had low blood sugar, I feel shaky, but my hands are steadier than I have seen them except for when I was on GAPs before. But I feel it. Jack and mine's stomach is better. I think we are going to hold off on the cauliflower for a little bit though. I realize that we are going to kinda do our own intro and I should write it down so I have the stages right. I will probably work on that today and see where we are. We have decided to go to another conference. We are trying to figure out what food we can bring and how to make it easier. I expect it isn't going to be easy, but hopefully we will do our best and being that far into it won't bother us much if we end up with some stuff we aren't supposed to have. Hopefully we will also have a bunch of kombucha by then to bring and that should help a lot too. I am seeing something in Gwendy that I am seeing in myself also. Since we introduced fermented veggies we have both been craving. Odd and I don't remember it happening before. It doesn't seem like die off, so it is confusing me. There was no sugar in the ferments and they have been fermenting for like 6 months. Gwendy is having a rough day, whining, craving, not wanting to eat anything but pickles. The casserole was wonderful. Really really wonderful. Everyone's mood improved after eating it too. Amazing, isn't it? The only problem I have now is that no one wants soup tonight!!! Aggg!!! I am hoping I can make it good. That is the problem that once you add in something it is hard to go back on what is supposed to be your staple. I am hopeful. Jack took the girls to the laundry mat. It is nice to be home by myself though and weekly trips to the laundry mat have been nice, either me going by myself, Jack going by himself, well, there are many options and they are all good. Anyway, I recently checked our kombucha, like 5 minutes ago. OMGess!! I will have Layla taste to check for sure, but I am pretty damn sure it is ready. Which is good. I would like to start drinking it. I think the girls would like it too. There is a big difference in us while we are drinking it. We have so much more energy. I feel like totally energized right now after a spoonful. Great stuff. So I am excited :) Definitely noticed a difference in my energy after just that tiny bit of kombucha. Layla says that she thinks it needs a little bit longer, but everyone else agrees that it is way done. We are having a light dinner of stock and squash. I want everyone to get a good amount of stock since we just had some broth today. I did put a little bit of coconut milk in it to see if that is what Jack had a problem with last night or if it was the cauliflower. The girls and I had some in our tea today, it was tasty and I think it helped up not be so hungry. I do have a slight headache now. I think it is from either coconut milk or kombucha. It is nothing bad. Or it could also be that I am finally not stuffy and the air in here is dry and drying out my nose. Very real possibility Gwendy again is having some severe issues now. I hope she feels better soon. Everyone else ate dinner well. I think she is tired. Very tired. Summary: Me: To be honest I have no idea. The last hour of Gwendy being upset has fried my brain. Besides that I think today has been a decent day. sigh Jack: Fantastic meal of non soupy. Energy levels okay through the day. Patience better than average. Not very hungry. No stomach upset. Natalie: good I wanted to eat not good stuff for me. and that is pretty much it. Oh I was fine with buchy and roast, and vegetables and pickles. Layla: Tummy ache while eating food, from buchy maybe. Like any cravings, but craving stuff that later on we could have on gaps. Sleepy. Oh! I pooped!!! twice. Gwendy: bad. everybody has been mean to me. I didn't like grinding mushy stuff, like squash, butternut squash. Every small day everyone bes mean to me. And I don't like stuff that is and I can't eat. (This breaks my heart. I know it is because she is tired though. She just keeps repeating herself.

Day 7, stage 2

So it is Saturday. Wow, today did not start good. Actually, it was bad since I went to sleep. It is amazing how I can torture myself, isn't it? I had again way too much coconut concentrate last night. Will I learn? Anyway, my stomach was NOT happy with me. Of course, it isn't just the fat, coconut is very powerful and I think at least that I was running a fever along with it all. I was sweating, felt achy and just horrible. I didn't sleep well. I felt much better when I woke up though. So I cut up some chicken, we had no broth for soup this morning. I made the carrot, beet base and then added in some broccoli and cauliflower. Some italian herbs and it was tasty. Everyone ate well. Layla and Natalie got 3 probiotics, Gwendy and Jack had 2 and I had 4. Layla has a slight headache, but she says it is barely there. Everyone is in a mood though. It is not fun. But hopefully it gets better. I am craving food. Not even anything specific. I just want something. I think that is why I ended up with too much coconut again. You know, last time I kept cheating with nuts. I so wanted nuts. They made my stomach hurt but they didn't do this. Of course I was better and would only eat like 5. This time, I think because I keep telling myself how wonderful coconut is, I can't stop. sigh. Maybe I will be better today. Oh and oddly, I have this weird runny nose. It doesn't feel like a cold or like allergies, but my nose is draining. Lunch, late lunch was good, made a kind of curry again, this is our third time with coconut milk, Jack's first thought. It was a couple of hours later, but he has heartburn. I am totally craving food. We are missing out on the dollar show in town because I don't think we could handle the smell of popcorn. In fact, my mouth is watering thinking of it. There are so many things on GAPs that I could eat and feel good about but not yet!!! I am trying to stay strong. Today may be my hardest day so far. Really, it shouldn't surprise me. I should start my period in the next week or so and this is always a hard time for me. If I can make it through the next two weeks I should be good. But this is hard. Really hard. We are having chicken again for dinner and I want beef. Or chocolate. sigh and double sigh. The girls have been acting better than this morning though. Which is a good thing. So after dinner Jack and I feel bloated and gassy. We made peppermint tea for everyone but the girls had no problems. I have had coconut milk before, so I actually think it might be the addition of cauliflower. Hopefully, we can figure this out. The girls and I each had a 1/2 teaspoon of coconut oil in our dinners. That is my slow movement to 3 T a day for each of us. No one had any headaches or anything, so tomorrow maybe we will do it twice. Tomorrow I also think we will try a casserole. Yea!!! summary Me: too much coconut concentrate the night before really kicked my ass. And maybe cauliflower also did. All in all though today I feel pretty good and seem more motivated that I usually am. I feel I had decent patience for what was not a nice day. Jack: After lunch stomach cramps and heartburn. All over body ache. Mid upper back and neck especially. Mood fine, a little snappy. Decent energy. Natalie: High energy, still snotty nose. Dehydrated. Had a hard time looking at food in books. Layla: Not having much patience, high energy. Like most days, happy and then all of a sudden not happy, mostly in morning and evenings. Tummy hurted once, but it was gone in a couple of minutes. Gwendy: still wanted what we can't have on Gaps which was oatmeal with sugar and mint and frozen berries and basil. Headache while we were driving in the car.

Day 6 stage 2

Today is going well so far, it is noon and we are sitting down to our first meal. Which the girls seemed happy with. Not that they weren't hungry, they were just alright with waiting. The doctor who came up with GAPs says that you shouldn't eat before 10 am. She says that your body detoxes from 4 to 10. Whether that is true or not, not sure. But we did find when we did GAPs before that we were fine with this. The first few days we could not do this as we were just too hungry. I have to say that after my one bowl of soup I am full. No, not full, satisfied. We also each had two small pickle rounds and one pickled green bean. There is some juice in their soups also. Today I did lots of stock, a half a beet and a good number of carrots blended. Then I chopped our last kohlrabi and the rest of the turkey. We need to go shopping. We need veggies. Today, Natalie and Layla each had two probiotics, Gwendy had one. Jack had a whole one also. No issues. Layla did say that she had a slight stomach ache after having the ferments, but it hasn't even been an hour and it is gone. Gwendy has been having issues with behavior. being just a little grumpy. In fact, I think everyone may be a little short today. Not really fun. Natalie is still sick and has been rubbing her nose to the point of it being really red. I have to admit that I am tired and had a short time of sneezing and my nose running. Maybe we are getting sick, maybe it is the diet. Who knows? We just got some coconut oil and I am hoping to add that to our diet slowly. So one more thing. But it is a small thing. I think we could all just more fat, and I'm talking about healthy fat here, in our diets. I know that since I have tried to get more fat in us is about the time that we have been not as hungry. So having another healthy alternative is nice. I am exhausted, probably too fast on ferments. Gwendy was begging for some more and craving for a snack. I gave her a couple of rounds, so we all had a few more. Nobody is having issues, but I am tired. Of course it could be going to fast on coconut oil too. I don't mind though because I have yet to have an symptoms like this. So I can deal. I am just tempted to go lay down, but we are still homeschooling. Oh well. The girls decided to do extra today since they only had today and one more day of their trimester, so they are actually doing two days of school. They are doing pretty well with it though. They do decide this somewhat often. It is nice because it gives me the whole weekend to look at what the second trimester is going to bring. Yes, my children are short of temper today. It sucks. Oh my. Yes, too much coconut or too much ferments. I'm exhausted, body aches feel like absolute crap. I want to go to sleep but Jack should be home soon and we need to go shopping. Funny how I am cruising along on biokult but ferments are kicking my ass. Goes to show that real food means more. I don't think we will buy another thing of bio kult. Of course it could be coconut oil too. Or maybe I am getting the cold that Natalie has. But it was really very sudden so I don't think so. So everyone ate dinner well. Really well. I survived shopping. Hopefully we have enough veggies for I won't even say a week. But maybe. I'm hoping we are good on meat too. I have to say that stock, carrots and a half a beet blended "tomato soup" has become a big hit. Big hit. Maybe bigger than adding coconut milk. So that makes me happy. It is so nice to see them excited about soup again. Though I had a slight fail. I thought we had enough soup. And then tonight at seven everyone got hungry again. Usually, they are getting ready for bed and not. But they were and they almost licked the pot clean. I feel bad about that. But I have nothing prepared. This is when it would be nice to have something besides soup that we can have. Soon I think. We are moving pretty well. summary Me: today has been rough. I started to feel better at night, but still have a slight headache. So pretty sure it was overdoing it on something. So odd to see what kicks you in the ass. Energy was really low today and patience was too. Tomorrow Jack will be home and hopefully I can get some help. Of course we won't have school to do either. I think, I hope, it will be nice to have a break. Jack: Not very hungry, busy day only one bowl of soup at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Energy moderate. no real cravings. Lower stomach pain at end of day possibly from cheat yesterday. Natalie: good day( I think she is the only one to have one) had a small problem with ferments or coconut oil. High energy ate all my soup. Doing a good job with soup. enough patience but not a lot. Layla: Very excited about adding on ferments. Loving and wanting more of the soup. A little hungry. Cravings have gone down a little bit. Not liking the coconut. Feeling like I want stuff when I was walking down baking isle. Gwendy: Grumpy day, no patience and lots of tantrums. I wanted something that didn't have smooshy things in it, like carrots. Ate good amounts of soup. I wanted some sugar and start eating oatmeal with sugar. Cravings have gone down. Wants guacamole and some apples.

Day 5, stage 2

So yesterday everyone was pretty much not hungry. Having a lot of issues with it also. So I sat down with the girls today to ask them what would help. Gwendy said she wanted Mexican. Layla said she wanted curry. Spices aren't supposed to be on intro. But when all they are asking for is to have some flavor in their food, how can I argue? We usually eat a very wide variety of tastes. So yeah, I can understand that. So we decided that instead of doing avocado next, we would do coconut milk and have some curry. I know it isn't really stage 2, but it is going to be our stage two. Since eggs are out of the question for awhile, this is just how we are going to go. We are making progress. Today Gwendy got a half probiotic, since she had a headache yesterday. I took two and the girls each took one. Jack also took a half since his stomach had some issues with it too. Everyone woke up pretty well today. I am surprised because last time it was not so. Of course we did intro during one of Washington's heat waves, it was pretty miserable. So maybe that had a lot to do with it. This time we are much more normal. I am slightly worried, tonight is potluck and there will be no meat or stock there I am sure. But we knew that going in. Once a week we won't be following the diet for one meal. I just hope that our stomachs can handle it tonight. So we have had curry twice today. Kids are eating. I feel kinda scared about it since we introed beets, coconut milk and spices today, but no one is having any issues so far. I will say I feel like insanely better. Like clearer. I do feel slightly worn out in one way though. I am so tired of having to remind my children to eat. They used to be such good eaters and I am tired of it. I remember it from last time and I know once we get some more things in they will do better, but damnit, I want a freakin vacation from it. I feel like I am making so many decisions and I'm done. The girls report no headaches or signs of die off after doubling their dose of probiotics. That is good news. I did not have any issues either. So we will probably add up tomorrow too. Though I just looked at what it would look like when we all get to therapeutic level that we are supposed to get to. We would go through a box of 120 in three days. We are supposed to stay at this level for 6 months. That would be 600 boxes. I don't think we can do that. Like at all. I think I will start fermenting more foods. That is kinda crazy. Anyway, sorry for that side thought. I have forgotten to mention that Natalie shows signs of sensory issues, learning disabilities and the such. She is constantly putting things in her mouth, she can't do anything if there is noise around and she has to keep moving. It makes homeschooling difficult but I know it would make school impossible. I have noticed her the past few days putting more things in her mouth. I know a lot of times it gets worse before better. So they all did pretty good today. Jack had a moment of weakness, he ate some pizza. It was a rough day at work, he had eaten all his soup and well there was pizza. Dinner was good. I made stock with carrots, beets, onions and pureed it. It looked like tomatoes so I added some basil and oregano and then some turkey and kohlrabi. It was pretty amazing and the girls had more than one bowl. YEA!!! Small victories matter. We didn't go to potluck, Jack was still at work late. It is probably a good thing, but yeah. so summary Me: Felt overwhelmed a few times today. Choices and things were just too much. I really felt like there was just way too much happening for awhile. My throat hurts. I am not sure if it is coconut or when I was yelling for Natalie. One of the things that happened today, I thought she was outside and was running around trying to find her, she was inside. I got a little panicked. So we will see how my throat feels tomorrow. Other than all the extra crap, good day. Jack: Worked hard and was very hungry, ate soup quickly, cheated with pizza. Stomach fine, mood okay. Natalie: High energy, woke up good. Slightly snotty nose. School went easier, better and I learned more. Slightly low patience. Layla: cravings, wanting something besides soup. Though all the meals were tasty, the curry was good and the pizza soup was good. No tummy aches, no headaches and very happy and then not. High energy. Focusing better. Gwendy: still wanted some stuff, chocolate, reeses. I couldn't stop clearing my throat. I thought the coconut would help me. And also I wanted some oranges, and a cutie(small orange). Gwendy also said that the soups were really good.

Day 4, stage one

So today started good. All the girls woke up and were HAPPY and had ENERGY. Lots of it. There were smiles and good cheer all around. It was great. I was really positive about how the day was going to go. We had our probiotic today. Jack and all the girls took a half, I actually took a whole one. I figured we could see if anyone has any issues. Then the girls started fighting for their fish oil. Really fighting. They really wanted it. Badly. So we took our fish oil. Then I started warming up soup. And it has gone down from there. No one wanted soup. No, I shouldn't say that. Layla said the soup smelled like vomit, Natalie agreed. Gwendy, who gave us all the issues yesterday with eating soup is fine eating it. Did anyone expect that? Not me. In fact, Layla is still eating her soup. Gwendy was cheery and happy and kept saying how good the soup was. Gwendy is saying that her head hurts. Then she says it doesn't. I am not sure if that is from the probiotic or if Gwendy is just having fun holding her head and saying that it hurts. You never know with Gwendy. So it is a slight battle today and one I didn't think I would have to do. It sucks. Well it is 5:00 and the two older ones are still pissy. And not hungry. They have only had one bowl of soup. They say they are not hungry. Gwendy however is and does want soup. I never expected this. Everyone seemed to do alright with their probiotic. Jack did end up bloated and gassy, but he said it wasn't bad. He did end up with some tea with honey in it while at work because he was doing a lot of physical stuff and was starting to feel very bad. Other than that things have been well. The girls flew threw school again today, Gwendy even did some stuff with them. I try to not force them into starting but she has been really wanting to do it. The girls wrote out some math problems with her and showed her how to do them. She also did english with us today. I'm happy. If I had to post who was doing the best each day today would be Gwendy's day. I spoke too soon. I made a wonderful dinner soup. Turkey stock, turkey, butternut and beet greens. It is yummy. Gwendy barely touched it. Natalie finished. Layla is still working on it. It makes me sad. Today was better than yesterday. It is going to be good tomorrow. I am going to stay positive :) summary Me: good, I didn't have any issues with the probiotic. I may increase tomorrow. Didn't have any issues with any food. I felt my energy was really good. I didn't feel impatient today either. I just wish people would eat the food I spend so much time preparing. Jack: Stomach upset after the probiotic. Light lunch, not very hungry. Low blood sugar in the afternoon. Higher energy, with exception of the low blood sugar. Natalie: Not very hungry. Good morning, didn't want to eat lunch. Ate dinner okay. Layla: Not hungry at all, not wanting to eat. Wanting something besides soup. No stomach upsets. No headaches. Feeling grumpy, not wanting to do stuff, yet happy. Gwendy: Headache, didn't want to eat smooshy things all day. I want some carseats for my baby dolls for yule. I wanted a place to buckle them in so they could sleep. I'm not sure if you are getting this, but I type what they say. Gwendy then mooned me because I was laughing.

Day 3, stage one

Well, today I woke up with the resolution that I would not overindulge in coconut concentrate :) I did sleep in. Though I did remind Jack to eat some soup and to take some. He did today. I am looking forward to him coming home and reporting if it helped. I was not too happy that Jack had left the soup on the stove and didn't put it away. It was cold and had been out for 3 hours and I didn't feel so good about it. Huck got it. I am hoping with the bones and such that Huck is getting that he will be back to being a happier dog like he was when we were on GAPs before. I can hope, right? Today the girls were totally not wanting to get up. I felt pretty crappy too and my stomach was still rolling. I got us up and moving though and figured if we were all feeling this bad than maybe it would be a good idea to get some more carbs in our body. So I made some butternut squash soup with the turkey stock. It looked amazing. Everyone thought it was amazing. So that raised our spirits and made it easier to get going. Again they did really well in homeschool. I am amazed at how well really. They have been focusing and really getting work done. Which makes it much easier on me. I have been trying to be better at organizing my time also. Gwendy at first, when she woke up, did not want to eat soup at all. The reason for our sweet soup. It was only two small squashes in a big pot of stock, but it was enough. We also had something very exciting happen. Our fermented fish oil got here!!! We had tried the orange and it was really hard to take. This time we got the cinnamon and Layla was the first one to try it. We had some kombucha to chase it with if needed. She had it and said that it was really good. Then Gwendy tried it and was so happy with it. Usually she is the worst in taking it. Then Natalie had it and then myself. It really is good. Really good. It does have stevia in it, which isn't legal, but I have to say that sometimes you need to make compromises. I think the fclo is important and if I can get my kids and myself to be excited about taking it. Well, we will go for it. I added some peas into the soup for lunch. It was so good, really good. Later in the day Gwendy asked me if she could have some more fish oil. That is the true test. I'm really happy about it. It is a beautiful day with record high temperatures today. So after the girls finished school and a few breaks during school, they have been outside playing. It is wonderful out there and it is hard to believe that it is January!! I am so not going to complain though. I'm sure it will turn cold on us soon. The girls had issues about mid day complete with screaming and hurting each other. Gwendy mostly has been having issues with being mean. We settled it though it took awhile. The girls ended up watching John Adams, they have a thing for early America. Jack built a window for the chickens. Oddly as I type this I am finding that my stomach is kinda upset. I don't know what it is. I will have to see if it passes. Just something to note. I am keeping this open during the day so I can record things and so maybe I keep up with it. We had dinner, beef soup with carrots and chard. Gwendy is not happy. My stomach feels better now. I think she is tired. Realized after talking to all the girls that no one has pooped, so I am going to give them some magnesium before bed. Hopefully they poop in the morning. We are also starting some tea to brew some buchy. summary Me: Morning kicked my ass. I was not doing well, but I had to pull it all together or else we would all still be in bed right now. Did better on the coconut, didn't have much at all. Felt not so impatient but cravings are so there. Oddly, it isn't so much stuff that isn't gaps legal, I want a hamburger, nuts, nut butter, some coconut baked goods, and fat, butter, cocoa butter with a little bit of honey. So maybe it is a good thing that my cravings are gaps. I will get there soon Jack: Much better energy, started with breakfast and remembered food. Craved colors and fruit. Natalie: better, not really wanting to eat stock, and not liking mushy veggies. Good day, good energy. woke up nauseous and not hungry. Squash helped but still didn't sound good. Natalie says that she has been energetic but just mad for some reason. Layla agrees to this feeling. Layla: Woke up feeling nauseous, not wanting soup, wanting raw veggies and meat. Mushy isn't sounding good. Craving sweets. so so on energy. I'm okay on patience. Gwendy: having lots of issues with being nice today. She did fine on soup and ate a good bit since it was sweeter. Wanted stuff that we can't have on gaps. Not wanting soup. I want avocados. good energy, don't have any patience.

Day 2, stage one

So we had turkey stock going from the night before. We also knew that today could be pretty bad. In our experience the second day has always been the worse. Layla woke up and since the last time we did this she ended up with a little bit of ginger tea with honey in it, she had vomited and was horribly shaking. Anyway, since she knew that was a possibility she woke up and played it for all she could. Except she wasn't shaky and she was mostly fine. So we got our food going. Amazingly, after I told them I didn't believe them they all got to getting ready for the day, cleaning up the table for homeschool and washing some dishes. We sat down to some turkey soup and I put the roast in the oven for later in the day. I felt very put together and very positive. Homeschooling went well. My headache from the day before was gone. I felt so much better with that headache gone. Layla did end up with something interesting. She had a face rash. It was also itchy. It was there off and on throughout the day. It did go away on day three though. Natalie off and on complained of a headache and layed down a few times during the day. For the most part though the girls all did well. While I found myself slightly low on patience I did feel more energized, which I did not expect. Gwendy, about halfway through the day, started to feel like she did not want anymore soup. I will say that we all had a few spoons of coconut concentrate. It tasted amazing. I probably over did it, okay I know I over did it. I am much better at being hardcore with other people and when it comes to food I have no self control. Anyway, it was in all a good day. We did find out that Jack had not only not eaten any breakfast but forgot his soup to take to work. He ended up coming home at lunch eating a bowl and then taking a thermos filled with soup. He looked horrible though when he got home. I felt very bad. He doesn't like coconut and while I felt it really helped us, getting more fat in, he didn't really have a good option. He did end up drinking a small glass of brandy. As night wore on, I found my stomach disagreeing with me, too much coconut. I was having a hard time sleeping, and then was woken up by Layla who told me that Gwendy had thrown up. Jack and I went to check on her and couldn't find anything. She drank some water, a bit of water and then went back to sleep. I could not fall back to sleep, my stomach was giving me issues and I was feeling pretty crappy. I should have had some soup. I ended up on the computer in hopes of getting tired again. Well, Gwendy ended up waking up again and vomiting. We found that it wasn't really vomit, her sinuses had been draining down her throat and that was what she vomited along with all the water we gave her. What a fun night. Gwendy kept saying that she felt fine, just her throat hurt. She went right back to sleep and then so did I. It wasn't the best night and day, but we did fine. summary Me: felt pretty energetic, but took it pretty slow as I didn't want to all of sudden crash. Obviously had some issues sleeping and with some self control. Jack: slightly nauseous, hungry, very low energy, felt better after a shower. Natalie: Craving chocolate, dates and honey. Had headaches, pretty bad headaches with light sensitivity and all. Didn't have any problem eating soup. Layla: Nauseous, weak, shaky but then felt better after sleeping a little more. Some cravings. Gwendy: was a little sick, she also slept in the car again that evening for about 2 hours. She still went to bed just fine. In fact she went to bed early. It was pretty amazing as none of my kids have been great sleepers.

Day 1, stage one

I am working behind here. Today is actually day three, but I am backtracking a little. So we woke up on Sunday after getting home from a conference the night before. We were already a little behind because our turkey was not thawed. So we cut off some meat from the turkey and made more of a meat broth to which we added some carrots and broccoli. I admit, and it is slightly funny, that even that morning Jack and I were short with each other. Amazing what food can do to your body, though that is the point on this diet. All of us ate our bowls of soup and they all tasted GOOD. We were surprised since last time it was so hard to eat soup. So hard. It starts to get old real quick. We knew from the last time that we did GAPs that the best thing to do was to keep eating soup and lots of it. To really fill ourselves and not get hungry. The problem was that we had a meeting later in the day and we were driving a friend to the train station. So we packed up two thermoses of soup took some spoons and bowls. We were prepared and we weren't going to succumb to any temptation. Except Jack forgot one of the thermoses and it turns out that both of our thermoses are broken, by the time we got to opening the soup it was cold. Not very tasty. But we were hungry. So we ate it anyway. There wasn't enough for all of us to get a full serving in. The girls each had a cup and Jack and I split one. I admit I had a freaking massive headache. Like I felt like I was going to die. Very likely sugar withdrawal. Since we were driving and then going to the store and I didn't want to die in the store, okay I can be melodramatic:), I ate a date. One date. Oh fail, first day. It didn't even help. Fricken date. It did help though in the fact that I realized unless I was going to just not be on the diet and go back to eating not as great stuff, my head was just going to hurt. Period. So I lived with it. Doesn't mean I didn't complain about it and tell the kids to please stop singing. But I lived with it. We went shopping and I didn't die. We made it home and we were all still hungry. Even though it was eight, I ended up making more soup and we ate late and went to bed a little late. End of the day summary Me, headache, horrid headache. I also didn't have much patience and had a hard time finding my words. I was upset over having to cook and not getting the help I needed. I did realize though that I wasn't asking for any help and tried to be more clear. I slept well though and even though I cheated felt pretty good about how the day went. Jack: wasn't too bad, hungry, didn't have enough food. Cranky. Natalie: Had some cravings in the early morning, probably because we were so late getting food in them and late evening, probably because she had to eat cold soup. Maybe a little more short and mean with her sisters, but it is hard to tell since if one of them is off, it kinda throws the whole thing. Natalie seemed to me at least to be doing the best out of all of them. Layla: Layla says she had some cravings, mostly wanting sweets. maybe had a little headache Gwendy: Gwendy says she felt good. She was tired, she slept for the ride to the train and then to the store, about an hour and then on the way home, about 45 minutes. She also went to bed pretty well. Not what I expected. But Gwendy was sick from the conference. She was snotty the day before. We did not notice her being very sick that day though.